That's what they should have told me the moment I set my bags down in D.C. Welcome to the muthafuckin jungle! Sink or swim bitch! Actually that's what they should have told me the moment I crossed the stage for graduation. "Congratulations on busting your ass these past four years. Now strap in because it's going to be a bumpy ride and don't forget about Sallie because she won't forget about you." A week after graduating college I received a job offer to work in Rosslyn at an advisory services board. Nevermind the fact that I went to school and majored in Communications I was looking for a J-O-B. And honestly the best advice I can give to any recent graduate is to apply, apply, apply but don't be afraid to step outside the box because sometimes all you need is a foot in the door and a paycheck. You have to earn your stripes people!
When I first moved to the big city...which has grown incredibly small this past year and prompted me to reconsider what qualifies an overly crowded area to be a city. For example: Greensboro, NC is a suburb with a lot of people while Richmond, VA is a big suburb with a lot of guns. Washington, DC is a metropolitan area that's full of a lot of people, a lot of guns, and a lot of crackheads on Florida Ave with a healthy dose of drag queens for flair. Regardless of how you rank DC on the scale of cities (if you're a NY'er please spare me because everyone knows you have the greatest city in the world, just ask a NY'er) when I moved here after being in Elon, NC for four years it was overwhelming and I had several emotional breakdowns during my first 6 months.
Not having your mother to hold you or tell you she loves you right after your boss bitches you out can be a sobering thought. Regardless of how strong you think you are, not having your boyfriend or best friends to rally around you and cheer you up after you get lost in the city, or almost hit a biker, or get YET ANOTHER parking ticket. However a year later, I have new besties, a second job where I'm the boss and can bitch people out (but deal with a whole new set of problems), a new wardrobe (shout-out to all my HU friends for rubbing their stylish ways off on me), a new GPS, and a handy dandy metro card.
I don't know why things work out the way they do, I don't know why I moved to DC by myself 3 weeks after graduating not knowing a soul, or why I was able to meet the amazing people who have grown to become part of my family. But I do know that sometimes a little trek through the wild is all you need. Things get tough, life gets hard, and you'll get lonely. YES YOU WILL GET LONELY...if you're lucky. While that may not seem so lucky to you, in all actuality me feeling alone gave me a big wake-up call. I'm the only person responsible for me and my happiness and my success or failures. I can get lonely and sad and cry and pack up and move back home to my parents house or I can say I'm gonna make a spear out of this tree branch that just hit me on the head and go gut the next person that gets in my way!
Not having your mother to hold you or tell you she loves you right after your boss bitches you out can be a sobering thought. Regardless of how strong you think you are, not having your boyfriend or best friends to rally around you and cheer you up after you get lost in the city, or almost hit a biker, or get YET ANOTHER parking ticket. However a year later, I have new besties, a second job where I'm the boss and can bitch people out (but deal with a whole new set of problems), a new wardrobe (shout-out to all my HU friends for rubbing their stylish ways off on me), a new GPS, and a handy dandy metro card.
I don't know why things work out the way they do, I don't know why I moved to DC by myself 3 weeks after graduating not knowing a soul, or why I was able to meet the amazing people who have grown to become part of my family. But I do know that sometimes a little trek through the wild is all you need. Things get tough, life gets hard, and you'll get lonely. YES YOU WILL GET LONELY...if you're lucky. While that may not seem so lucky to you, in all actuality me feeling alone gave me a big wake-up call. I'm the only person responsible for me and my happiness and my success or failures. I can get lonely and sad and cry and pack up and move back home to my parents house or I can say I'm gonna make a spear out of this tree branch that just hit me on the head and go gut the next person that gets in my way!
Most people I graduated with either went on to graduate school or moved in with their parents or a family member. I didn't have that luxury. I moved into a 450 sq ft studio apartment in what I lovingly refer to as the Little Tijuana of Northern Virginia. I had a bed, a tv, a entertainment center, a kitchen, a closet, and a bathroom. No sofa or seating but if you wanted to come visit I had a desk chair you could get comfortable in. It wasn't anything fancy but it was mine. Long story short, I look back on my first year in the city and I wonder why didn't I just go home? I had every reason to, but I'm glad I didn't because it was the first step in making me the person I want to be. I think it goes without saying but you learn a lot of things about yourself, life, and other people when you're independent and on your own for the first time. Fortunately, I learned to like and appreciate a lot of things about myself that I didn't before. I'm not saying that I'm perfect or where I want to be but this was without a doubt the biggest learning experience I've had in my young adult life.
In Bali, the coming of age ceremony is supposed to take place after a girl's first menstrual period or a boy's voice breaks. The upper canines are filed down slightly to symbolize the effacing of the individual's "wild" nature. In the rite of initiation of Baka Pygmies, the Spirit of the Forest ritually kills the boys to propitiate their rebirth as men. Now, Sweet 16 Party aside I really think the U.S coming of age ceremony is the moment your parents help you unpack your belongs at your first apartment, knowing that every single bill in that place is in your name. You will struggle and fall on your derriere a few times but you'll get back up and at some point you'll come back home to your parents with your metaphorical canines slightly filed and some of your more young impetuous ways buried 6 feet under. You live, you learn, and you conquor and then you start wearing your big girl panties and the world becomes just a little bit better.
In Bali, the coming of age ceremony is supposed to take place after a girl's first menstrual period or a boy's voice breaks. The upper canines are filed down slightly to symbolize the effacing of the individual's "wild" nature. In the rite of initiation of Baka Pygmies, the Spirit of the Forest ritually kills the boys to propitiate their rebirth as men. Now, Sweet 16 Party aside I really think the U.S coming of age ceremony is the moment your parents help you unpack your belongs at your first apartment, knowing that every single bill in that place is in your name. You will struggle and fall on your derriere a few times but you'll get back up and at some point you'll come back home to your parents with your metaphorical canines slightly filed and some of your more young impetuous ways buried 6 feet under. You live, you learn, and you conquor and then you start wearing your big girl panties and the world becomes just a little bit better.
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